pep talk with mr. t

i was just in mr. t's office talking about remote start for my car. he asked how i know the car has started. i told him its a pretty loud engine, so usually i can hear it start.

he asked if i'm going to keep my car forever. i told him, "yeah, i mean, i kept my old car for 11 years."

he asked if i eat in my car. i told him, "eh. i'm not anal about it, but i don't encourage it."

i told him how i clean my car every sunday, and that when i got rid of my old car, the interior was immaculate.

he said, "man, you really have some issues you need to work through."

a compliment from carl.

last night carl told me, "you're like an enigma to me. you have the attention span of a goldfish, yet you do so great at your job."

thanks!...... i think?

hey playa.

this morning i left my apartment around 8 a.m. for work. carl said he'd leave around 8:30 to get to work at 9. at 10:05 a.m., i realized i hadn't heard from him, so i texted him to make sure he was okay. i was pretty sure he had either fallen asleep or was playing video games... but you never know.

he finally got to work around 10:30. he told me he was getting ready to walk out the door, when his xbox started calling his name. "hey playa," it said. he was just going to play one game and ended up playing for awhile.

i was emailing this story to kaka, when carl added, "its kinda like when you go to the store and start shopping. the clothes talk to you until you buy them". right.

why i love carl.

carl (2:41:52 PM): beth is here
me (2:41:57 PM): did you talk to her
carl (2:43:22 PM): no
carl (2:43:25 PM): she was busy with tracey
carl (2:43:27 PM): tracie
me (2:44:47 PM): im ready to leave.
carl (2:44:59 PM): but can you leave?
me (2:49:46 PM): no
me (2:50:43 PM): i want to punch someone
carl (2:50:49 PM): why
me (2:50:58 PM): b/c im not a 60 year old lady
carl (2:51:10 PM): no....
carl (2:51:15 PM): why doy ou think youre a 60 year old lady
me (2:51:24 PM): can i just tell you it cracks me up that i am in a relationship and am fascinated by advice columns on online dating sites?
me (2:51:29 PM): b/c i have bad bones
carl (2:51:35 PM): honey
carl (2:51:39 PM): you are everywhere right now

run for the hills.

when in a relationship or looking for a romantic partner, some red flags are very obvious. we are going to list some of them. please avoid a person who:

1. has to blow into the breathalyzer thingy just to start his/her car every time (assuming he/she even has a car...).
2. is uber religious.
3. lives with his/her parents.
4. owns more than 2 cats.
5. forgets about a date with you.
6. wears a house arrest bracelet/anklet.
7. screams at the waitress for bringing the wrong drink.
8. tells you he/she is an alcoholic on the first date.
9. looks like a wax figure.
10. calls you his girlfriend on the first date.
11. wears slippers on your first date.
12. would be excited about a pregnancy between the two of you - when you've been dating less than a year.
13. has any misspelled, creepy, weird, or trashy tattoos.
14. shows up drunk to your first date.
15. talks about babies within the first two months of dating.
16. apologizes for your feelings instead of apologizes for what he/she did wrong, i.e. lying.
17. talks about exes on the first date.
18. says he/she hates his/her parents but talks to them daily.
19. is unemployed.
20. wants to meet or discusses meeting parents prior to three weeks of actual relationship.
21. wants to have sex with you when you're sick.
22. wants to have sex with you when they're sick.
23. is employed by any company with XXX, nude, girls, gone, porn in the title.
24. has a questionable family tree.
25. talks about falling in love with you on the first date.
26. creeps out your family/friends.
27. is married.
28. says his sister may have a crush on him.
29. discloses odd fetishes on the first date.
30. is very into politics, and his/her opinions are very different than your own.
31. has exes as friends but says its because he/she is just "that" loving.
32. drives a car that might not make it home.
33. thinks personal hygiene is optional.
34. eats laundry detergent.