when your youngest roommate undoes your cabinet organization...

i guess i really am 97 years old

i found out today i have to have hip surgery :(

while i want the pain to go away, the surgery is a little worse than i expected, and i am TERRIFIED.

the orthopedic surgeon said i have something called FAI. an arthrogram of my hip confirmed the labral tear that the surgeon expected to find.

my surgery is scheduled for Sept. 26, and the nurse said I'd be off work (with a desk job!) for 3-4 weeks. physical therapy 1-2x/week for 12 weeks. my estimated return-to-work date with no restrictions would be the end of November.

bathtime request

punkin wanted to bathe in the sink this evening, so i let her. she was perched happily in the sink watching "beauty and the beast". i sat at the kitchen table making notes in my planner. each of us was lost in her own little world.

then, to break the silence, she asked me, "mom.... can you put on shoes and go to the grocery store?"

i don't even know that i actually replied or just giggled.

a few minutes later, "mom... can you put on shoes and go to quiktrip?"

i laughed again and asked "why?"

"i want donuts".

you know what's worse than a cortisone shot in your hip?

a cortisone shot in each hip! omfg i am in pain.

it feels like college all over again.

my life is pretty boring lately, however this morning i had a few tiny surprises that made me smile and remember that i can have fun ;)

as i was getting ready to leave for work, i went out to my car to put my bags in the front passenger seat. i literally laughed out loud when i saw bowling shoes and a lit up plastic cup on the floor. my friend had taken her shoes from the bowling alley last night and apparently left them in my car. the bowling alley also had these light-up cups - there was a button on the bottom so you could turn them on and off. they also apparently changed color!

later that day i found another one of these cups in the center console :) my wallet was in there, and i was getting it out.

i drove to work, parked, and got out. my purse was still in the trunk - along with my kids' car seats i had taken out to cram six passengers in my car..........  and what else did i find in the trunk? a pizza in its box. what a night. i haven't been DD in a long time with these shenanigans!

the claustrophobia of an mri.

i am (obviously and not surprisingly) incredibly stressed lately. i had today off work and spent most of the day doing nothing - trying to relax! i met carl for lunch, and i cleaned. i had an mri of my hip scheduled today and got there early. i was completely fine until it was time to go into the machine.

the tech had taken me back to the machine and positioned my feet pigeon-toed, and tied them together - super comfortable! he started sending me into the machine, and as i was almost fully in, i freaked out and said i needed to come out.

i have no clue what happened - i have had mris before without sedation. i asked him how much further i would be going in - he said i was almost to the point. i asked how long it'd take - he said 35 minutes. i asked if he could push me in, and then take me back out, and i'd let him know if i could handle it or not. he did that, and i realized it'd be okay.

he sent me back in, started the machine, and turned on the music (no country music!). and for the next 35ish minutes, i focused on relaxing. the horror of the mri machine suddenly put a lot of things into perspective for me. here i am freaking out about 189 other things, when i need to focus on what really matters: myself. 

punkin is fancy.

most mornings, punkin is just like every three-year-old; she eats a "normal" breakfast of a granola bar or pop tart and banana. however, today (and this is not the first time), she brought a bag of pistachios in the car for breakfast because, why not?

i'm 92% difficult.

mr. t just called me into his office to send flowers to a co-worker whose mother just passed away. i said, "i know i can be difficult 95% of the time, but i really do enjoy helping."

"i think you're being a little hard on yourself. you're only difficult 92% of the time...."

thanks :)

you know what my backyard needs?

a pool....

the word "underpants".

one of my absolute favorite words is "underpants". any time i am referring to underwear or panties or the like, i call them "underpants". my friends tease me that i am an old lady. "no one calls them underpants!" "underpants are not sexy!"

tonight at happy hour, we polled other customers at the bar, and unfortunately for me, most everyone agrees: the word "underpants" should never, ever be said out loud.

not today, satan. not today.

i have no idea why, but this meme and this saying absolutely crack me up. i love to respond, "not today, satan. not today." or i will modify it to whatever wording is most appropriate: "me, too, satan. me, too."

art at the royals game.

threats from mr. t.

mr. t was out wandering around while i refilled my water. i asked him if he could please stay in his assigned workplace. he said he would, and went into his office. i went into mine.

i leaned over so i could see him (i don't know if i've previously mentioned that our offices are across from each other).

he said he's going to kick my ass.

i said, "i think that's a threat."

he said, "you have no idea."

then he said that i am intimidating. he curled up into a ball and added, "i don't know if you're just going to snap. you're scary."

what a sweetheart.

the only good thing about going to the dentist...

is when he shows you the intake paperwork your parents filled out for your very first dental appointment when you were three years old :)

i went to the dentist today, only to find out i will need to have a root canal re-done. this is possibly the only tooth pain worse than an actual root canal.

my favorite drink ever.

captain morgan + diet mountain dew. it tastes like vanilla and is absolutely amazing!

you know its bad when...

stupid drama just happened. mr. t told me to do something that i do not want to do, but i realize i need to take one for the team.

"why do i have to be the one getting thrown under the bus?" i whined.

"its not a bus," he said. "its a train."

art at the bar.

you know what's more amazing than my planner?

when my sister-in-law gives me a pencil bag that matches it exactly, and she's never even seen my planner. that's love.

my new morning routine.

not really.

i did it today and will probably never do it again...

but i got up this morning at 4:30 to run. after running and then showering, i ate leftover sushi, and it was AMAZING. omg.

i truly love our mornings...

we have a bi-weekly freak-out about, "WHERE'D MY NIPPLES GO?!?!" when punkin puts a shirt on.

she freaks out about which size of plastic baggie she wants for her breakfast.

and on the way to daycare, she points out that, "home depot is orange! kinda like a pumpkin!"

trophy wife.

mr. t just called me into his office.

i went in there, and he told me to come around behind his desk so i can see his monitors. he shows me a picture of people standing in line.

"so... is this your family or something?"

no. its people in london waiting in line to buy the new ipad.

"why do you care?" i ask.

he shows me people in tokyo waiting in line to buy the new ipad. he points out a man with his arms crossed and looking pissed.

"that's you," i tell him. "so are you going to buy one?"

no. he already has two.

"so what's so special about the new one?"

"its really just like a trophy wife," he said.

pretty martinis.

i apparently can't bake.

i think i'm a decent cook. i can follow recipes well and modify them as needed. however, over the years, i seem to have failed every time i try to bake. i tried to make lemon cookies today, and here is how they turned out:



i don't even have a clue where i went wrong :) maybe i used the wrong cookie tray?

this is what my life has come to....

punkin letting us know she has pooped in her toilet.

"mom! dad! come look! i pooped!"

and she is crouched over her toilet, looking intently at her poop.

"that's a very good poop!" she'll say.