daily conversation with mr. t.

mr. t just said he hopes 2016 will be a better year for me.

"i hope you won't be rude and mean and obnoxious. i hope 2016 will be a better year for you. i hope you will be a better person than what you've shown for the past 12 months. you are super duper obnoxious, and i know you seem to take pride in that."

i told him i'd work on it.

"i am not coming back to your office again," he said. "i will avoid you from now on. the 2012 plan is for you to be nicer and gentler. don't be mean. i need to get you that bumper sticker that says 'mean people suck'. many people in the department could benefit from that."

i asked him if i was the meanest person in the department.

"no. on a scale of one to 10, you are about a four. you don't have a mean bone, but there are days when you go over the edge. and that is an advantage."

i told him i'd like funding for therapy to be added to my salary.

"that seems fair. you know that family that sent me their picture? i have yet to call them."

i asked why he needed to call them.

"to ask if the baby is theirs."

wow.

positive qualities about me.

mr. t just told me, "you're demanding and bossy. you need to take it down a notch".

i replied, "yes, boss."

futuristic, dude.

i'm at the grocery store. the guy behind me in line asked if they have the newspaper. the cashier said, "yep its right there. not sure if its today's or tomorrow's though."

so much nope.

that was a good point i just made.

i asked mr. t to please mark my birthday on his new calendar. he asked when it was, and i told him. he took out his pen and drew a big, black asterick on february 6.

"but you're not going to remember what that means when that date gets here!" i said.

"i drew that because you're a big star," he explained.

i just laughed at him.

"see, you can't even take a compliment," he said.

"because i don't think you're being serious...."

"well that was a good point that i just made," he said.

wtf?

gosh, what a liar.

yesterday when mr. t and the boss had to go shopping, i said to carl, "i know something is going to happen. i'm going to need to bail them out of jail or something." sure enough, when carl and i were at lunch, mr. t called.

"we got lost," he said.

"are you joking?" i asked.

"yes. we forgot our wallets," he said.

"are you joking?" i asked.

"no." thankfully they had already called someone else to bring the wallets to the store.

this morning i decided to do some xmas shopping before coming into work. i sent a text to mr. t, "i'm going to come in around noon."

"why? i'm already here," he replied.

"because i'm not as punctual as you are," i said.

"oh. bad work ethic," he said.

"because i got lost?" i teased in reference to his shopping trip yesterday.

"ha," he said.

when i got to work this morning, i went into his office. he asked how i got lost. i blatanly lied about wanting to take a different route to work.

he asked which road i took. i told him, "holmes road" which is wayyyy out of the way.

"how come if you are coming from overland park, would you take holmes road?" he asked.

"um... i just... needed... some variety in my life?" i lied.

this conversation went on for about 10 minutes. he asked if i saw a gas station to stop and ask for directions. i told him, "no, i was out in the middle of nowhere. just fields and cows. i stopped and asked the cows for directions, but they weren't helpful at all."

at one point, i even asked, "you know i'm lying, right?" to which he just blew me off. we talked about other random crap. as i walked out of his office, he said, "i really can't believe you got lost".

i told carl that i didn't think mr. t realized i was lying. so, about 30 minutes later, i went back into mr. t's office about something else. carl came in. mr. t asked him if he heard about how i got lost. carl said, "no, i heard she was coming to work late but didn't realize she got lost".

"um.... i was lying," i said.

"what?!" mr. t was shocked. "i can't believe it."

i can't decide if i'm offended that he really thought i could get lost on my way to work.

now he's mumbling in his office, "gosh, what a liar. i mean, seriously."

a compliment from mr. t

a nurse and i just walked by mr. t's office. he told the nurse to tell me that he's a hero. wtf?

"i was in a good mood this morning until i saw you and your colorful sweater," he said to me.

the tv tray.

today punkin pulled the tv tray off of the ottoman onto the floor. then, she climbed into and sat. dinner is served.........................

best lunch date evah.

carl usually meets me for lunch about once a week. today i learned one of my favorite restaurants (the melting pot) is open for lunch on fridays! so, guess where we went. the melting pot!!

 i mixed all of the sauces to eat with a mushroom:

mr. t's ovaries.

i forwarded an email to mr. t asking if i need to do anything.

his response? "you can stand on your head".

so, obviously, i had to reply, "im gonna punch you in the ovaries".

to which he replied, "mean. and i left my ovaries at home".

thank you, captain obvious

our friends came over tonight to drop something off. they came in and chatted for a few minutes. when they were leaving, carl and i walked them to the front door.

"oh! i forgot you guys left your car outside..." i said once i saw their car in the cul-de-sac.

"well, yeah," the dude said right on cue. "i don't usually bring it in.

yep. i should have realized people don't usually bring their cars inside. what i meant to say was that i forgot they had left it in the cul-de-sac with the trunk open. oops :)

omg i love croutons.

manilow. more like fanilow.

i won free tickets to the barry manilow concert! we had so much fun, as the youngest people in attendance.

i dont really understand the mason jar trend....

unless its a yummy drink inside one!

my husband is afraid of geese.

so i decided to take a picture of some:

my other new best friend.

i believe i have mentioned i love glitter. in california, i bought a pair of three-inch, open-toe high heels that are covered in silver glitter. they're absolutely amazing. they, with the new kc hat, are my new glittery best friends. i haven't worn the shoes (or the hat) yet, but i'd like to wear them tomorrow to work actually. (side note: i just asked mr. t if i could wear them to work, and he said, "no. they're a little over the top." rude. he clearly doesn't know me that well.)